Priest

First off: big apologies for not posting recently. My internet has been down and it’s been impossible to get online. However, I wasn’t idle in the reviewing stakes, so prepare your butts for a butt load of reviews…my way of making things up to you guys :). So let’s get started!

In 2011 Screen Gems released Scott Stewart’s Priest, a film based on the graphic novel series by Min-Woo Hyung.

Set after a truly vicious war between man and vampire that raged for centuries, it tells a post-apocalyptic story of a warrior priest (Paul Bettany) who gets word of a fresh wave of vampire attacks…and this time it’s personal: they have his niece (Lily Collins). Now he must break his vows of peace and set forth to rescue her and simultaneously stop the threat this new hive of vampires pose to mankind.

This is a masterful tale of standing up for what you believe in against all the odds. And the vampires themselves are beyond what you may expect. They aren’t the good-looking dead humans with a thirst for blood that we all know and maybe love. Priest gives us a whole new spin on the modern-day vampire, making them savage, in-human and blind monsters that not only want your blood but will tear you into tiny pieces to get it. These are the vampires that our imaginations would probably like to forget.

The special effects and stunts must be commended too. The environment is breath-taking in a post-apocalyptic kind of way and the stunts are definitely gravity defying.

What’s more is, though it’s not exactly a horror genre movie, there are plenty of jumpy moments throughout for those of you out there who like a good scare.

And it’s gory. People get torn apart. No kidding.

The only bad thing to say about this film, and I may be being picky here,  is that it got awfully dark awfully quickly in one scene. I’m not sure if this is just another thing that would happen in a post-apocalyptic world or if the film-makers wanted to hurry things along…it’s hard to tell.

However, that doesn’t stop this film from being rather enjoyable, with some pretty awesome, and violent, moments throughout, including the intro narrative, which is illustrated in cartoon form…which is actually quite gory even in cartoon form; Hicks (Cam Gigandet) throwing a bullet through the air, followed by a knife, expertly slicing the bullet in half mid-flight; Hicks dodging the axe thrown at him, which he promptly pulls out of the wall behind him and throws back at his attacker, whom he squarely hits in the head (good shot sir!); Priest jumping high into the air, using the rocks the priestess (Maggie Q) throws as steps to get higher; the human vampire stopping a priest in mid-swing by punching a whole through his chest and ripping out his heart (ouch); the bike to the face of one of the Familiars during the priestess’ fight with them (that has gotta hurt); and finally, during the same fight, the priestess wraps her whip around another Familiar, pulling him off his bike, then she pulls it tight and it squeezes him until he explodes (nice).

And my favourite quotes from the film are:

• ‘Oh god, I’ve always preferred the hard way.’ – Priest
• ‘Point A, meet point f*cking B.’ – Hicks

So there we have it, a fast-paced action, post-apocalyptic film with vampires…what more could you ask for?

Well I could ask for a cup of tea.

An 8.0 out of 10 from me.

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