Red 2

In 2013 the second Red film, simply entitled Red 2, was released by director Dean Parisot.

Trying to enjoy his retirement from the CIA, Frank (Bruce Willis) finds himself forced into reuniting his old team after being accused online of being part of a project called Nightshade. It all soon becomes a race to find a portable nuclear weapon, but in all the chaos who can he really trust?

For me this film is just as funny as the first. In fact it’s probably just that bit more epic.

The special effects and stunts are over the top but in a highly amusing, holy crap kind of way. The ideas behind scenes are hilariously individualist and the story is just a crazy rollercoaster ride. Then, of course, you have the brilliant one-liners, usually Marvin’s (John Malkovich).

However, I do have one complaint: why does the character of Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker) seem drunk/high throughout this film? Is it part of her character and meant to be funny? I personally found her to be rather annoying in this one because of it.

Besides that, this film is brilliant. Some particularly good moments and scenes to watch out for are Frank promising Sarah ‘You are never gonna be in danger again’… seconds later a car blows up nearby; Marvin’s ‘funeral’, where Frank tries several things to prove he’s not dead; Frank smashing his head into a table, which breaks in two on impact (cripes), then the fight afterwards between himself, handcuffed, and 7 guys… some very clever ideas here; Han (Byung-hun Lee) making origami, then killing a guy with it by stabbing him through the throat (yikes); whilst speaking to Frank on the phone, Victoria (Helen Mirren) casually puts a dead body in an acid bath; the bar fight where Frank stops a blade mere millimetres from Sarah’s throat and Marvin falls through the roof (typical); the spinning car scene, all in slow-motion, where Frank gets in whilst it’s spinning… reminiscent of the first film here; the car chase where Sarah gets the car jammed in an alley; interrogating the Frog (David Thewlis)… very funny; Han with a machine gun… cars get cut in half by the amount of bullets put in them; Han using a refrigerator door as a weapon (again, cripes); Marvin making the toilets blow… poop goes everywhere (eww); and finally the very last scene. I will say no more :P.

And my favourite quotes from this film are:

• ‘You don’t get to tell me when to lay!’ – Sarah to Frank
• *After Sarah owns Frank in front of him* ‘Wow. Mommy just slapped daddy at the dinner table.’ – Marvin
• ‘I’ve been caramelizing his onions for the past few days. With acid and a lot of rats.’ – Marvin
• ‘Get me a gun that really hurts.’ – Han
• ‘You think I’m going to roll over for you hegemonic Mickey Mouse-loving Americans?’ – The Frog   ‘Leave Mickey Mouse out of it.’ – Marvin
• ‘Should you eat that?’ – Sarah   ‘It was before all that ‘sell-by-date’ stuff.’ – Marvin

Overall, this film is full of laughs, action and just damn right chaos. Easily on par with the first film, if not better.

An 8.9 out of 10.

Red

In 2010 director Robert Schwentke gave us the action comedy film Red, starring a host of famous faces.

When retired CIA agent Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) is targeted by a high-tech assassin he reforms his old team to survive and take down his assailants. One things for sure: he’s still got it!

I actually preferred this film to the Die Hard films, as it is funnier, has a rather inventive story-line and the choice of cast is superb.

The special effects and stunts should also be commended, with even more crazy ideas for fight scenarios and explosions than even the Die Hard films. This adds to the comedy as well as the overall creativity of the film, making it a fun and slightly different watch to your normal action genre film.

Some particular brilliant moments to watch out for are Frank’s house under attack, in which he uses the trick of heating up bullets in a frying pan so they shoot around the room; Frank stepping out of the car while it spins in slow motion, with the back end just missing him… I loved this part particularly; throwing grenades, where we get to see the people torn apart… Marvin batting back a grenade is also quite awesome; Marvin (John Malkovich) shooting a bullet into a rocket in mid-flight, resulting in a very big boom; the team escaping from Cunning’s (Richard Dreyfuss) house; and finally Marvin running at the vice president and his body guards with a bomb strapped to him and screaming loudly…. what a crazy person!

And my favourite quotes from this movie are:

• ‘Someone has a serious hard-on for you, kid.’ – Joe (Morgan Freeman) to Frank
• ‘Wanna take that knife out of my balls now?’ – Frank to Marvin
• ‘I never thought I would say this again. I am getting the pig!’ – Marvin

Overall, I enjoyed this film. It has a brilliant blend of comedy and creativity that makes it stand out in its genre.

So an 8.8 out of 10.

A Good Day to Die Hard

Director John Moore brought us the fifth instalment in the Die Hard series in 2013, entitled A Good Day to Die Hard.

John (Bruce Willis) travels to Moscow to help his wayward son Jack (Jai Courtney), only to find his son is a CIA operative who has been set the task of stopping a nuclear heist. As the Russian underworld bears down on them, the father and son duo must put aside their differences if they are to stop a war breaking out and to primarily save the day once again.

For me this is the weakest film in the series to date. I think it focuses too much on being funny rather than a truly clever story like its predecessors.

However,  I did appreciate the humour and the bickering between father and son moments throughout. As ever, both the acting and the special effects are brilliant, with more crazy ideas for more action-packed, thrilling moments.

Particularly great moments to watch out for are John’s attempt at Russian, where he ends up saying “large bag of hair” (it’s doubly funny ’cause he has none!); the line of cars blowing up one after the other; the epic car chase; John driving over the tops of a lorry and a car to get down off the bridge… typical John, can’t do it the easy way; John jumping out the window, onto the scaffolding and jumping down the debris chute… cripes; Jack and John using the leaking gas in the room to set it on fire with a grenade… oooookay then; getting killed by the helicopter blades… eww (before that he falls in slow motion, which is a flash back to the first film); the van hanging out the back of the helicopter, with, typically, John hanging on to it for dear life; and finally the helicopter goes boom, with a very big explosion! Yay!

And my favourite quotes from the film are:

• *After a sharing-and-caring conversation* ‘Right, let’s go kill some mother f***ers.’ – John
• ‘I’m on f***ing vacation!’ – John
• ‘The shit we do for our kids. Yippee ki ay mother f***er!’ – John
• ‘We’re not gonna grow any third arms are we?’ – John   ‘No, but you might lose your hair.’ – Jack (Again with the hair joke!)

Overall, this film could have had a better story line, but otherwise it is very much your traditional Die Hard film.

So a 7.9 out of 10.

Die Hard 4.0

The fourth instalment in the Die Hard series, Die Hard 4.0, was brought to us by director Len Wiseman in 2007.

When cyber-terrorist Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) mounts an attack on America’s infrastructure, John (Bruce Willis) teams up with hacker Matthew Farrell (Justin Long) to save the day. July the 4th will definitely go up with a bang.

I found this to be the funniest film in this series, as the character of Matthew was just as funny as John. I also found the acting overall to be at its normal standards of superb and the storyline is also pretty clever and well thought out.

As ever the special effects are spectacular and even more ground-breaking and unique than in the previous films. In fact there are many brilliant and totally unexpected moments throughout simply because of the ingenuity of the special effects and stunts alone.

Some of these pretty awesome moments include the hacker pressing the ‘delete’ key after a virus infects his computer, causing his whole place to blow up; John shooting a fire extinguisher which then hits a guy and sends him flying backwards out a window; the figurine, typically, falling on the ‘delete’ key and thus creating a big explosion; Gabriel causing mass traffic jams, crashes and general chaos by messing with all of New York City’s traffic lights; tunnel mayhem, including throwing a car at the attacking helicopter; the car getting stuck in the elevator, the fight on it between John and Mai Linh (Maggie Q) and the explosion when it falls to the bottom; the power station blowing up; the guy falling into a set of rotors and getting crushed… eww; John in the truck versus the pilot in the fighter plane, resulting in total destruction, particularly to the poor bridge; and finally John shooting Thomas… through his own bullet wound in his shoulder! Owwww!

And my favourite quotes from the movie are:

• ‘This is like having a pine cone shoved in my ass.’ – Matthew
• ‘It’s a little thing they invented back in the 60s called ‘jogging’. Come on, you’ll love it.’ – John to Matthew
• ‘You just killed a helicopter with a car.’ – Matthew   ‘I was out of bullets.’ – John
• ‘I’m no doctor but you look like you’re hurt.’ – Matthew   ‘Sexy, right?’ – John
• ‘Wow. I know that tone. I’m just not used to hearing it from someone with hair.’ – Matthew to Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead)

Overall, this film was funny, well thought out and full of unique ideas and great special effects.

So an 8.4 out of 10.

Die Hard: With a Vengeance

In 1995 director John McTiernan brought us the third instalment in the Die Hard series, Die hard: With a Vengeance.

In this one John (Bruce Willis) must play cat and mouse with German terrorist Simon Gruber (Jeremy Irons) in order to save lives. But Simon is actually up to more than anybody knows and it soon becomes clear that revenge isn’t the only thing on his agenda.

I loved the whole cat and mouse style story line. Instead of John playing games with the terrorists it’s the other way around, which really spices things up for the series.

Also with all the riddles and games played by the terrorists it shows that the Die Hard films are not just about mindless action and explosions, but actually have substance to their plot lines.

As ever, expect big explosions and special effects, brilliant and hilarious acting and an even more confusing and twisted story-line.

Some particular moments to watch out for are the bomb going off in the middle of a packed street in New York City at the beginning of the movie… typical Die Hard right from the start; John and his offensive sign that nearly gets him killed… he is forced to wear it as the terrorist’s first twisted move; the riddle via the phone and the fake bomb… this is a highly funny scene; John driving through the park… watch out people; the explosion in the subway; the terrorist trying to drown John, who ends up shooting up through a pipe… poor John; a guy gets cut in half… oww; and finally Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson) and John jumping off the boat as it explodes… again with the typical Die Hard style here.

And my favourite quotes from the film are:

• ‘You can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.’ – Zeus
• ‘Not even God knows what you’re doing!’ – Zeus to John

Overall the third instalment in the series had an epic story line, with fun moments and plenty of action.

An 8.3 out of 10.

Die Hard 2

1990 saw director Renny Harlin bring us the second instalment in the Die Hard series, Die Hard 2 (or Die Harder).

In this one John McClane (Bruce Willis) must save an airport in Washington DC from another group of terrorists. But when the airport staff refuse John’s help, he realises he must do things himself. Meanwhile, in the skies above, 18 planes are waiting to land… and they’re all slowly running out of fuel. Just another Christmas for John McClane then.

I loved the storyline in this one. It was more structured, if a bit over the top in places. But that’s what the Die Hard series are all about: being over the top. The special effects are brilliant also and so is the acting, once again making the characters believable to the point where you don’t know who the traitors are!

Some particularly good moments and scenes to watch out for are the guy getting stuck in the machinery in the airport’s back room where all the luggage goes… oww; the scaffolding landing right on a guy… again ouch; the plane crash landing with a huge explosion of epic proportions ensuing; John nearly getting run over by a landing plane… he really is a hard man to kill; John ejecting himself from the cockpit… as it blows up; John stabbing a guy through the eye… with an icicle; a guy going through the plane’s engine turbine… eww; and finally John successfully blowing up the terrorists’ plane.

And my favourite quotes from the film are:

• ‘Another basement, another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?’ – John
• ‘We are just up to our asses in terrorist again, John.’ – John
• ‘You give me this story and I’ll have your baby.’ – Sam (Sheila McCarthy)   ‘Not the kind of ride I’m looking for.’ – John

With the increase of craziness in this film from the first one it’s no wonder why the Die Hard series is so popular.

So that is why I give this film an 8.5 out of 10.

Die Hard

It’s scary to think that the Die Hard films first came out 25 years ago, 4 years before I was even born. Now we have five of them and one must wonder if there will be an end to them.

The first film in the series, known simply as Die Hard, was brought to us in 1988 by director John McTiernan.

John McClane (Bruce Willis) of the NYPD finds himself in trouble when a gang of terrorists take over the hotel where his wife and others are throwing a Christmas party. But McClane is a hard man to kill, regardless of how reluctant he is to be the hero.

The Die Hard series is known for its impressive displays of explosions, action sequences and mind-boggling stunts. And the first film is no exception. Guns and explosions galore, tense moments and crazy concepts, this film is a true roller coaster ride of epic action.

I loved Bruce Willis’ portrayal of John, the reluctant hero, who tries to cover his fear and panic with stubbornness, cursing and jokes. Throughout the film his character blossoms into this determined and slightly dark figure.

What I didn’t overly like was the storyline, which seemed to be jumbled around and in places had no purpose. But you can look past this thanks to the brilliant combo of acting, special effects and stunts.

My favourite moments and scenes include Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) killing Joseph Yoshinobu Takagi (James Shigeta)… the blood was very 80s looking; John versus the blonde guy with the glasses; putting the blonde guy’s body in the elevator with a Santa’s hat and ‘Now I have a machine gun HO HO HO’ scrawled on his shirt… nice taunt; the blowing up of a police’s RV… yikes; John chucking an explosive strapped to a computer monitor down an elevator shaft… the result is a humongous explosion; the scene where there’s glass everywhere… all I can say is poor John’s bare feet; John jumping of the roof just as it explodes… typical Die Hard fashion; and finally John’s wife, Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), punching a reporter. What fun!

And my favourite quotes from this film are:

• ‘Of all the terrorists in the world I had to kill, it had to be one with feet smaller than my sister.’ – John
• ‘Yipee ki ay mother f*cker!’ – John

Overall, this movie is a brilliant introduction to an action-packed series, with many unique ideas and some humour thrown in that makes for a rather interesting watch.

An 8.1 out of 10.